Detaching in Relationships:
When we first hear about the concept of detachment, many of us
find it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching
means we don’t care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying
and trying to force things to happen, we’re showing how much we
We may believe that controlling, worrying and forcing will somehow
affect the outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying and forcing don’t
work. Even when we’re right, controlling doesn’t work. In some cases,
controlling may prevent the outcome we want from happening.
As we practice the principal of detachment with the people in our
life, we slowly begin to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably
detaching with love, is a relationship behaviour that works.
We learn something else too. Detachment – letting go of our need to
control people – enhances our relationships. It opens the door to the
best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us
and others to live in peace and harmony.
Detachment means we care, about ourselves and others. It frees us
to make the best possible decisions. It enables us to set the
boundaries we need to set with people.
It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a
positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same.
(From “The Language of Letting Go”, Melody Beattie).